To quote Ce.el.o from GoodieMob's classic first cd, on the song Soul.Food...
This is how i'm feeling this morning, while trying to pull on the jeans that were kinda baggy on Wednesday afternoon, and now fit snug due to holiday food fun on Thanksgiving and all weekend long.
A heaping helping of fried chicken
Macaroni and cheese and collard greens
Too big for my jeans
Somke steams from under the lid that's on the pot
Ain't never had allot but thankful for
The little that i got why not be......
Come and get yo' soul food, well well
Good old-fashioned soul food, all right
Everythang is for free
As good as it can be
Come and get some soul food
I'm trying to recover from a turkey enduced coma, cuz lawd knows i've eaten enough of it since Thursday night, that I should be able to sprout feathers in a matter of days.. I'm so sincere.
Hope everyone's holiday went well, drama free, full of good food and cheer.. Me and my mom didn't have any guests over, which was kool with me because that meant I didn't have to share any of the pie with visitors.. We had to rescue dinner a few times, much to my suprise.. The turkey ended up on 400 degrees instead of 325 for an hour, resulting in pretty golden brown skin outside, and raw meat inside, with 3 hrz left to go in the oven.. I caught the mistake, covered the brown skin with foil to keep it from browning further, and basted it like krazy, to retain its juices..
In other kitchen mishaps, the maccaroni ended up full of soap bubbles, due to poor rinsing of the pasta strainer, last time it got washed.. I caught that mistake too, made my mom taste it for soap, and after she spit out the soap, I was carrying it off to the bathroom for super rinsing.. Yes it was a sad state of affairs in my home.. The last box of maccaroni on the kitchen shelf, and the stores were closed, had to do a dramatic rescue.. After a half hour in the strainer under the cold blasting waters of the tub faucet, it was soap free, and good to go.. Added the velveta and baked it to golden cheezy perfection. In kitchen mishap number three, me and my mom fell asleep, and burnt up the pan of simmering turkey giblets, which were going to be used for gravy..
Now don't go getting the wrong idea about our kitchen skills, we know what we are doing, but add exhaustion and multiple dishes to the mix, and you wind up with silly mistakes. Instead of getting pissy about it, we laughed about that shit the entire weekend.. and hell naw I didn't end up out there in that mess Friday getting my shopp on.. I slept hella late and laughed @ the fools trampling each other at 5 in the morning tryinna get 15 dollar dvd plyrs, on the evening news.
** Exits to continue gnawing on a turkey drumstick*
Pops a bottle of sparkling apple cider to celebrate post number 100 !!!
At the school where I work, the teacher was reading the kids a book after they got up from their nap.. Some random story about a kid with a pet.. So she asks the lil kids the following question.
Teacher - Boys and girls.. do any of you have any animals at home?
Kid 1 - I've got a cat
Kid 2 - I've got a cat too
Kid 3 - I've got a dog.. he's furry
Kid 4 - I dont have a dog or cat, but there's a mouse in the kitchen.
Teacher - (turns red in the face) Ohhhh really.
Me - slapps hand over mouth and walks out of classroom, to crack up in the hallway.
It'z been a lil while since I've discussed any "personal" issues going on with me.. and shit I think thats a really good thing. Early this year I was posting regular with rants and bitch-sessions about how much I hated the job I had @ my University.. It seems like i'm pretty content with things these days, and the job situation i'm in now is working out suprisingly swell..
I swear I've got all kinda shit on my resume. I'm a serious jack of all trades, and i've done it all. From Telemarketing, sales, customer service, coffee shops, clerical, marketing and entertainment company, random bullshit, professional face painter, event host/greeter, concert producer/marketer, and now I can add child care assistant to the list..
I'm workin at a pre-kindergarden with a group of 4 yr olds. *gasp*.. Now I don't know how it got started but for some reason people who know me seem to think that a child would be safer left in the company of wolves, than left alone with me.. I'm not the kid friendly type, don't have that motherly instinct, kinda cold hearted, and avoid kids at all cost.. However God moves in mysterious ways, and he's lead me to this great opportunity to work with the kids.. Now before anybody starts feeling sorry for the kids that have been left in my care, i've been well trained in this kid-thang. For the past few months i've been deep in training with my team on child psychology, child learning, conflict solving, how to relate to lil kids, the correct way to read to kids, class structure and organization, ect.. It's been a whole lot of work, and hours and hours and hours of learning.
I dont know how they did it, but their cute lil faces melted my heart, and I fell in luv with my class the third day I was there (I was scared shit-less the first few dayz) and the motherly instinct has kicked in something serious.. I don't want to have a baby *hell naw* but I would like to be somebody's momma someday.. (adoption cough cough adoption) and I think about it more and more as I sit with my class, and have a cute lil kid in my lap, hugging me, and letting their happy-innocence shine brightly. I'm getting over my kid-phobia, enjoy talking to them, watching them play, and I'm playing with them.. This is good for me, because i'm letting my hair down, pulling the stick out of my ass, and relating to things as a child.. I'm acting silly as hell, getting messy, jumping and playing, and building things with lego's all throughout my day.. Talk about a stress reliever..
If someone had told me this time last year that i'd be working with kids, i'd call em a *rat-faced-liar* but like I said earlier, God's plan for our lives are radically diffrent from the plans we have.. and times like this i'm ohhh so thankful for knowing to submit to his will, and follow where he leads me.. Even if he leads me to romper-room.
The weekend wrapup - got my party on *from my chair*
Everybody who knows me knows that I don't dance at parties, or anywhere for that matter.. Most of the time they act like they know, but that does not seem to stop a few folks from trying to put me on the spot and pull me out onto the dance floor.. If i've told ya once, i'm sure i've told ya hundreds of times, I dont dance so plz stop asking me to...
The folks who dont know me are even more troublesome, because they take it as an insult that I don't want to dance with em.. I always try to humbly apologize and smile so that it does not appear that i'm playing the "stuck up role".. (sweetie its not you, its me)
Next thing I know i've got a pretty steady stream of damn near every man at the party trying to be the one to get me up off my ass.. I sit there trying to explain that (i've got 2 left feet, and am a member of the rhythmless nation) but they are not trying to hear it.. Which leaves me feeling like misfit, cuz i'm the only lady in attendance not up getting her dance on.
This is the sole reason I hate going to parties.. I can't dance worth a damn.
RIP to the one and only O.D.B who passed away Saturday.. I'll miss his unique voice, wild style, original flavor, and krazy antics.. I dont care what nobody says, thats a hip hop legend right there.. *Pours out a shot of henny* and raps along to my favorite O.D.B song.. Brooklyn-Zooooo
I'm the one-man army, Ason
I've never been tooken out, I keep MC's lookin out
I drop science like girls be droppin babies
Enough to make a nigga go cra-a-azy
Energy buildin, takin all types of medicines
Your ass thought you were better than
Ason, I keep planets in orbit
While I be comin with teeth, bitin more shit
Enough to make ya break and shake ya ass
'cause I create rhymes good as a tasty cake, mix
This style, I'm mastered in
Niggas catchin headaches, what? What? You need Aspirin?
This type of pain, you couldn't even kill with Midol
Fuck around get sprayed with Lysol
In your face like a can of mace, baby
Is it burnin? Well, fuck it, now you're learnin
how, I don't even like your motherfuckin profile
Give me my fuckin shit, CH-CH-BLAOW!
And just like that she was gone....
I'll miss you like krazy, Angelique.. (you betta keep in e-contact wit a sista)
The SaucyDame has left the building.
Yesterday while I was excercising my inner bitch and cursing at a few folks at work I noticed that my voice kept cracking and getting low in tone.. Realizing that I was getting slightly hoarse I tried to conserve my strength, but people kept pissing me off, so I had to keep right on cursing and complaining..
Wouldn't ya know that I got home last night and couldn't do anything stronger than a whisper.. I spent the evening crackling out sounds and moaning like a sick dog while drinking tea and sucking cough drops..
Now I can't talk, am very pissed off, and sitting in silent solitude all day..
*cough cough cough* I wanna cry.
I got this from her..
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold is false.
01. When I was younger, I made some bad decisions
02. I don't watch much TV these days
03. I love olives
04. I love sleeping
05. I own lots of books
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses
07. I love to play video games
08. I've tried marijuana
09. I've watched porn movies
10. I have been in a threesome
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy
13. I have acne free skin
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton
15. I curse frequently
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year
17. I have hobbies
18. I've been told I: (women) have an applebottom, (men) am packing.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me
20. I'm really, really smart
21. I've never broken someone's bones
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal
23. I hate the rain
24. I'm paranoid at times
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free
26. I need money right now
27. I love Sushi
28. I talk really, really fast
29. I have fresh breath in the morning
30. I have semi-long hair
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs (females) or face (males) on a regular basis
35. I have a twin
36. I have worn fake hair/fingernails/eyes in the past
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months
40. I know how to cornrow
41. I am usually pessimistic
42. I have a lot of mood swings
43. I think prostitution should be legalized
44. I think Britney Spears is hot
45. I have cheated on a Sig. O. in the past
46. I have a hidden talent
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have
48. I think that I'm popular
49. I am currently single
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex
51. I enjoy talking on the phone
52. I practically live in sweatpants
53. I love to shop
54. I would rather shop than eat
55. I would classify myself as ghetto
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders
57. I'm obsessed with my Blogger
58. I don't hate anyone. I dislike them.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother
62. I have a cell phone
63. I believe in God
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months
66. I love drama
67. I have never been in a real relationship before
68. I've rejected someone before
69. I currently have a crush on someone
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life
71. I want to have children in the future
72. I have changed a diaper before
73. I've called the cops on a friend before
74. I bite my nails
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club
76. I'm not allergic to anything
77. I have a lot to learn
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie (obviously this is outdated)
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs at a party
84. I have made a move on a friend's Sig. O. in the past
85. I own the "South Park" movie
86. I have avoided assignments at work to be online
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum
88. I enjoy country music
89. I would die for my best friends
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story"
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it
98. I have dated a close friend's ex
99. I'm happy as of this moment
Checks to make sure my passport is current..
Pulls out the blindfold
Spins around 3 times
Throws dart @ world map randomly
Peeks
Exits to learn French..
I'll make new friends in Quebec.
Plots on free healthcare in Canada
I'm outta here yo... the next 4 years for the USA are going to suck
(just like the last 4 sucked)
Bahhhh fucking humbug